Here's to new beginnings...

How did I not know? How was my son, one month before his 11th birthday diagnosed with autism? How did this go unnoticed for so long, especially when I watch him now, it's so obvious! 

There is no short answer to that question. There are so many factors involved, primarily that I was completely uneducated about autism. I also went into this whole parenting thing with no knowledge other than life experience. Isn't that what most of us do? The problem is that life experience isn't really a good knowledge base for people who didn't have good examples of what kind of parent to be. So we jump in, doing the best we can with what we've got and what we've been taught. 

I had always thought " well child" checks were unnecessary for children that were healthy. My kids never got sick, why would they need a doctor? My parents only took us to the doctor if it was an absolute life threatening issue, and needing stitches was not typically seen as "life threatening" so I have some gnarly scars. I thought taking them in when they were really hurt, or seriously sick was enough. Had I known then what I know now I would have done things differently, and my son's autism may have been caught sooner, but then again maybe not. I didn't though, and I can't look back at "what if's ". There are just too many of them. 

I recently had to remove my son from public school, it just wasn't safe for him anymore and he was losing his love of learning. We tried, really hard to make school work. Primarily because I had to work. I has his counselor, occupational therapist, pediatrician, Neuro psychologist, all of them trying to help me with solutions, but the principle was abusive and threatening and refused to work with me. Almost everything that we recommended that would REALLY have helped him they refused, and suggested only that we need to "change his mindset" about known triggers they were forcing him into every day. The stress was too much, too much for me, and really too much for my son. Even when he was in school at least once a week the school called me to come pick him up and take him home. It wasn't optional. If I wouldn't come they would call the cops on him and threatened pressing charges. They even did that the last day I did have to go. My son is 11, and he's not a bad kid, in fact he's a complete joy most of the time. I can't have him getting a criminal record at this age just because he has a neurological disorder that the school doesn't want to deal with!

So now I begin this new year, with a new diagnosis, a new perspective, and a totally new life. I don't know yet how all this will play out, how we will manage to pay the bills, but I do know one thing; my son is so amazing! I'm all he has, and I will fight for him, work for him, and sacrifice what I have to so that he can succeed! All I can do now is pray that God provides.